


Trees with Entwined Roots are Harder to Topple

by Razorblade_Candy



Series: The Kami's Bride [2]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bottom Hijikata, Bottom Hijikata Toshirou, Dirty Talk, Dubiously Consensual Blow Jobs, Edo Period, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Angst, Existential Crisis, Face-Fucking, Fluff, Forced Orgasm, Gentle Sex, Gin is a Kami, Gin is trying his best, Gintoki is 25, Hair-pulling, Hijikata is 20, Historical Fantasy, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, Lack of Communication, M/M, Married Life, No one actually cheats though, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Spanking, Overstimulation, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Gintoki, Possessive Sex, Rimming, Rough Sex, Shy Hijikata Toshirou, Switching, Top Gintoki, Top Gintoki Sakata, Toshirou is a human, Use Your Words, Will They Switch?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:48:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29343084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Razorblade_Candy/pseuds/Razorblade_Candy
Summary: This takes place  after the ending of ‘Don’t Gamble with Gods’ This is the second part of a planned three part series. Technically you could read it on its own but you won't get the full effect and miss out on some important details and context.Every chapter posted will have art to accompany it! look out for NSFW content coming soon ;)
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Series: The Kami's Bride [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2155473
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	1. You Can’t Have Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Gin and Toshi have been living together in the cave next to the old shrine for four years now. Their life together is peaceful and fulfilling. That is until Toshirou starts having nightmares.
> 
> PLEASE CHECK OUT THE ART FOR THIS STORY!  
> https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/87680712

Toshirou was startled awake, jumping like he had been dreaming of falling. His breath was ragged and labored as if he had been holding it. Cold sweat soaked his back and dampened his hair. The room was dark and silent except for the sound of breathing.

“Gin…” He shook his bed partner lightly.

He had been having dreams with recurring themes this entire week. The latest of which involved every part of his body crumbling like wet sand as soon as Gintoki touched him. He could see the silver haired Kami moving his lips like he’s trying to say something, but no noise reached him. His lovers scarlet eyes were full of panic as he tried to scoop the dust up, pushing it back against his disintegrating form. All Toshi could do was look up at his partner in terror, unable to comfort Gintoki as the God tried miserably to stop him from coming to pieces.

“Hmm?” Gin moaned sleepily, his eyelids heavy.

The silver haired man blinks away the fatigue, sitting up to inspect Toshi. He had long since taken to sleeping like a human, he couldn't resist the opportunity to cuddle with the dark haired man.

“Toshirou, are you feeling alright?” The older man breathed through a yawn clinging to his throat.

“Gin-” Toshirou repeats this time his voice cracks from frustration.

“A dream? Again?” Gin questioned, wrapping an arm around his lover tightly. He didn't need to be told. This was becoming a routine of sorts. 

Toshirou buries his face in his hands, trying to regulate his breathing. He starts to say something once or twice but can't seem to think of how to explain what’s bothering him. His pulse is quick and his mind is hazy from the remnants of his eerie dream.

“M’ gonna die before you…” the dark haired man states flatly, his head still firmly planted in his hands.

“...” Gin hesitates.

“I’ll get old- I'll get old but you won't.” He stammers after a moment.

Gintoki tries his best to find something to say. He can see the younger man is hurting and it kills him that he can do nothing for it. He sits there wordlessly, trying to find even a nugget of positivity to reassure his partner with. Toshirou was right. He would grow old someday.

“Will you find someone else when I'm old and disgusting? There's no way you'd want me then…”

“I could never find someone to replace you… even half your equal is impossible.” Gin asserts. He gives the dark haired man's shoulder a light squeeze.

“I will get old and I will die…” He can't help but wear the revolution plainly on his face as he says this again. Repeating it out loud to himself helps it feel real. 

“Toshirou, I will stay by your side until the very end.” Gintoki promised, serious faced. “I plan to be here as long as you live.”

“I don't want that!” Venom taints every word as he speaks. His temper is peaking from Gin's inability to see his perspective. “My memory will deteriorate and I may not even know who you are anymore by then! I'll be a drooling old man who can't even bathe himself without help. What life is that? You're my partner, I don't want you to have to take care of me like some half dead hospital patient.”

Toshi feels consumed by the negative emotions pervading his thoughts. Gin seems so calm, yet he was panicked. Was this only news to him? It was so obvious. How was it that only now he realized this?

“You knew about this…” Toshi murmured. “How could I have been so naive? Dammit.”

His head hurt from thinking about how easily men died, how Gin had probably lived at least three of his lifetimes up until this point. When he had initially entered this odd relationship he hadn't considered growing to care for the idiot. Now the thought of slowly dying in front of him was terrifying.

“That’s just the natural cycle of things…” Gin reasons, he tried not to agitate things further by confirming he had thought about it from the very beginning.

“You don't deserve that…” Toshirou murmurs under his breath. He brings his knees up to his chest, resting his head between them. 

Gin grins. The dark haired man had matured quite a bit since the beginning but he still sulked like his sixteen year old self. Curling in on himself and bristling like a hedgehog.

“I don't really deserve you either, so we can’t complain about the details.”

“That’s such bullshit…” Toshi’s face scrunches in anger. “Why wouldn't you move on? You'll live alone on the mountain just like before we knew each other?”

“Don't be confused, I don't want it to happen any other way. You still have many young and healthy years ahead of you, why worry about this now? You're barely twenty.”

“Fuck, you’re always like this you bastard. Deflecting everything.” The younger man sighed haughtily. “Saying don't worry about it, it’s pointless. I can't just turn it off. ”

Gintoki ponders for a moment before speaking. “You know...There is an activity we could do together that is said to keep you young.”

“And that would be?” Toshirou raises an eyebrow in doubt. He hopes Gintoki is serious but knows better than to hope.

“You don't know? You're a pro at it at this point.”

Gin pulls the younger man closer to him on the futon, pressing their lips together. Toshirou grunts in surprise, he’s taken aback for a moment, he should have expected Gin to use a cheap line like that.

“They say if you do it every day, you'll be youthful for many many years. Lets try it out.”

“You just made that up didn't you?” Toshi accused.

“No, it’s definitely a quote from an old and wise philosopher.” Gin lied through a big grin.

“That makes no sense. How is he old and wise if sex keeps you young? Shouldn't he be a young and wise philosopher? Your story sucks.”

“Details.” Gin pulls his lover into his lap, holding him close against his chest in a tight hug. 

The dark haired man had grown over the years but he was just small enough to fit snugly in his embrace, but probably not for long. They would most likely come out the same height eventually.

“You're suffocating me.” Toshirou pushes back against the silver haired man’s chest with his palms. The aura he’s giving off is defensive and prickly.

“Oi, you wake me up to tell me you're scared of being separated by death but you push me away when I try to comfort you?”

Usually this would have gone over as a joke but perhaps it came out too harsh. His husband recoiled in disgust and pushed him away completely. Now that they're sitting across from each other Gin can tell something is really weighing on him.

******

Toshirou walked the grounds. His head felt heavy. There wasn’t very much to do most days so he would often walk around until he found a tree worthy of climbing. Today though the trail served as a backdrop for his racing mind.

Agitated was a good way to describe how he felt while avoiding the roots of trees on his path. There was no one at fault here but he hadn't wanted the silver haired man to touch him. It felt wrong to get close to him while knowing that the closer they became the more painful it would be to get separated. Toshi knew it was irrational. Gin had tried to sooth him by reminding him that there would be many years ahead, but it made rage bubble up inside.

What had he expected him to say? Something that would only feed into the situation and send him into a spiral? He knew that Gintoki meant well but it was genuinely frustrating that he didn't acknowledge that this situation sucked. He felt like he’d been brushed off.

Neither were particularly great at talking about how they felt, why talk when you can use your body to get your point across? There had yet to really be a situation to come up between them that couldn't be solved by a fist fight or melting together under the covers.  
.  
Toshi was more than willing to admit that his mortality was a depressing subject. Maybe Gintoki genuinely didn't understand. 

******

Toshirou cursed to himself, he had been handed a small wooden crate to deliver to Katsura that morning by Gintoki. Initially he had thought the bastard had wanted him to deliver it to his house a full two hours away when Gin carried him there. It would probably have taken a full day to get there and back on foot. 

Luckily this was not the case and Katsura was in the village at the foot of the mountain. This was more reasonable.

He would have the rest of the day to do as he pleased and visit his family. He had been meaning to check in and see if that woman had killed his mentor yet.

******

“Oi, I'm here with this thing. It’s heavy.” Toshirou grunted as he placed the package on the stone floor beneath his feet.

“Morning. Thanks.” Katsura thanked him with a slight bow, picking up the box and lifting it onto his shoulder like it weighed nothing.

“What is it, rocks?” Toshi was no weakling but this crate was heavy. Carrying it down the mountain in his arms was cumbersome and now his shoulders ached.

“Yes actually. For magic purposes. Good guess.” Katsura grinned, seemingly oblivious to the joke. 

“Katsura, do you know anything about humans achieving immortality?” After Katsura had said the word 'magic' he had been compelled to ask. If anyone close to him knew then it would definitely be him. He was notorious for crafting things using his abilities as a Kami and Gin would consult him before making decisions because he seemed to know a lot.

“No… I can't say that I do.” His movement stiffened as he inspected the package, averting his gaze abruptly. It wasnt hard to tell that he was eager to change the subject.

“Is it possible?” Toshi asks, trying to encourage the Kami to come clean with his knowledge. If he presses hard enough Katsura might crack.

“It doesn't seem very likely…” Katsura turned his back to Toshirou, making it clear he had no desire to speak to him. “I’ll be going!”

“Ok. See you later.” Toshirou called back in a weary tone. Katsura was already shrinking in the background.

******

“Kondo-san!” Toshi called while knocking on the door to the dojo he used to call home. There was an indescribable smell that came with coming home, comforting and illusive. He could never really pinpoint where it was coming from, only that it was only present here.

Sougo pulled the door open almost immediately like he had been standing there waiting for him to knock. “Eww, who invited you?” He had probably seen him approaching and was waiting to open the door for him. Though he was glad to have Kondo-san to himself, he did miss Hijikata occasionally.

The child before him had grown a foot since the last time he had seen him and it had only been about six weeks. Sougo was beginning to grow up, a fact that the dark haired man still struggled to get his head around. He would be twelve soon. 

“Out of the way you brat.” Toshirou pushes his way through the door, jabbing the little shit in the ribs playfully. He could be more abusive as Sougo got older and took full advantage of it due to being unable to retaliate against a small child. They fought like siblings then and they still did. If left alone for too long they were known to break things.

“Be warned, the she-demon is here.” Sougo cautioned as he walked down the hallway.

“She-demon? Otae-san isn't that scary.” Toshirou had met her a few times, she seemed ordinary and rather demure. Polite with a seemingly permanent smile.

“She tries to make me eat the food she makes and she forces me to leave all the cool lizards I find outside. They always just run away! She made Kondo-san cry too once! I saw!”

“Oh? That happens sometimes.” He can recollect a few times where he’s been the one in the relationship crying.

“Toshiiiiii--” Kondo beckons excitedly from down the hall, popping his head around the corner. “Come, come! We have wonderful news!”

“She’s agreed to stop hitting you?” Toshi replies snarkily, a grin tugging at the edge of his mouth.

“Were engaged!” Otea inserts cheerfully, a bashful pink on her face as she walks around the corner. 

He’s never seen Kondo-san smile wider than he did at this woman standing beside him. His whole face lit up. Had Gin looked at him like that?

“Congratulations, I wish you all the best.” He felt a twinge in his heart. He still felt restless about what had happened earlier in the week. He was happy for them but seeing them gush over each other was hard. Though Gin was always close by, they seemed to be so out of touch with one another. Toshi knew he was driving a wedge between them but because he couldn't talk to his partner about his feelings. That being the case he couldn't let his guard down. Looking at Gintoki made him think of all the things he couldn't say and it was frustrating. After years and years of being in each other's lives it was still so easy to put up a wall.

******

Toshirou ascended the mountain at dusk. Large snow flakes covered his clothes, falling silently from the darkening sky. He had spent several hours with his family to talk about wedding plans and parties and now he had to go home. There was a limit to how social he was willing to be in a day. It was always bittersweet to have to say goodbye again but it was nothing new.

The lantern he carried in his hand lit the path just enough for him to feel out the road. Ironically it's not the first time he’s climbed this mountain feeling confused. There had been many times his heart weighed heavily in his chest as he walked through the familiar landscape. He felt lost, afraid maybe? Like leaves scattered in the wind. 

He let out a deep sigh he was unaware he was even holding, letting his shoulders sag. 

“Shit…” He mumbled under his breath. Frustration was constant recently. Frustration with Gin, frustration with life, frustrated that he had no one he could confide in about things he couldn't tell Gintoki.

“Ponytail!” A female voice calls from behind.

The dark haired man stopped in his tracks and turned to face in the direction of the noise. Had he really allowed someone to sneak up on him? He had spent a good majority of his life sharpening those skills. In the low light he could make out two fluffy ears, a toothy grin and a slight build. Toshi was sure he’d never seen this woman before.

“Excuse me?” He asks, taken aback by this strange women's overly familiar greeting.

“I see you walking back and forth alone often and I thought you would want some company! My name is Seiko!” She smiles brightly, tilting her head to the side in an endearing manner.

Had this woman lost her mind? Who runs up on someone in the dark to ask them to be friends? Was she some sort of stalker? More importantly, those ears.

“Why were you watching me?” Toshirou questioned, already ready to have to fight or flee.

“Oh, well that's my job.” The cheerful young women chirped.

“Job? To stalk people?” He can't help but give her an incredulous look.

“I'm an Ōkami and I protect all travelers who step foot on this mountain.”

That explanation made sense, though he had never seen someone like her before. Maybe she meant to stay hidden in the shadows?

“So you don't eat people? That would explain the ears and tail.” Toshi replied dumbly, mouth slack with shock.

“Pffft! What do you take me for? How gross. You shouldn't stereotype people, you’ll never make any friends like that!” She moved her hands to her hips, a scowl wrinkling her freckled nose.

“I-I’m sorry? I know not all Yokai eat people but I don't have much experience so I can't tell just from looking at a person. I've only met a few in my life.” He sheepishly gave an explanation, hoping this would exempt him from causing offense.

“Does Gin-chan keep you closed off in a room? You haven't met his friend yet?” The little woman openly gawks, her large dramatic eyes sparkling.

“How do you know Gin?” He questions. “I’ve met Katsura-san and Hasegawa-san?”

“Of course I know Gin! No one who lives on the mountain could possibly not know him.”

“Oh.” It made no sense that he’d never met this person before.

“So anyway, Toshi-chan you seem troubled and since I’m your new friend, and a friend of Gin-chan you have to tell me about it.” She grabs hold of his sleeve, tugging it in an attempt to coax him to answer.

“You're too touchy--ugh.” The close proximity was kind of uncomfortable but the longer they talked together, the more it felt like they had been friends for years already.  
After speaking to this charismatic ray of sunshine for over two hours he finally let everything spill. He told her about how he and Gin had been distant lately due to the nightmares and his frustration when his lover was near him. Gintoki’s presence had always been calming but lately every time he laid eyes on his stupid curly hair he would become angry. He confessed he felt unable to bring it up again with him, fearing being brushed off again or worse.

Without any forethought he continued on to complain about how Kondo-san would have a real wedding with the families involved. They would get to exchange cups, something he and Gintoki had never gotten to do. Such sentiments seemed trivial and stupid but Toshirou was a romantic through and through.

Kondo and Otea would be able to grow old together, aging at the same rate. As he listened to himself speak he realized how incredibly jealous he was that they were able to live their lives together in synchronicity. He would give anything to become immortal so he could stay with his most special person forever and never have to burden him with the struggles of growing old. 

After a long pause Seiko spoke up. “Ponytail-chan, I would be happy to help you but I can’t do it for free.”

“You can help? How? How much money do I need?” His questions rolled off of his tongue at hype speed due to the excitement.

“No, I don't want anything. The process of becoming a Yokai comes with consequences. You will lose things you cannot ascribe value to.” The usually cheerful girl speech was now calm and serious. “Talk to Gin-chan, I can’t help you any further if you don’t.” 

******

Toshirou couldn't have been more excited to talk to Gin. To tell him that he had a solution for the worry that had weighed heavily on him. However after revealing his plan to his partner, who had listened intently without a word, he had refused. In a very fitting fashion Gintoki had said ‘Ok, ok! I will listen again carefully to everything you have to say and when you are finished, I will refuse you again.’ Damned sarcastic bastard.

“You're pissing me the hell off!” Toshirou practically screamed. A solution was so close he could taste it.

“Listen to reason for a moment. I can't talk to you when you're like this.” The silver Kami couldn't think of more to really say about the situation without complicating things on a whole new level and right now the dark haired man was already teetering close to rage induced episode. 

“Then shut up already!” Toshi threw his hand up in the air for empathize.

“Toshirou- just take a deep breath.” Gin insisted.

“Damn you!” Toshirou seeths. “How dare you keep something like this a secret from me? Why would you ask Katsura to lie to me? Do you want to be rid of me so you can move on after I die?” 

“Oi, I have--”

The younger man excuses himself from their bedroom, briskly making his way to the door. He didn't wait for a reply before throwing it open and closing it angrily.

BANG!

The screen clacks against the frame of the door once on impact and then again from the reverberation.

Gin groaned loudly, flopping back onto the tatami. His partner had been on edge for days now, What use was it to worry about things you were powerless to change without potentially grave consequences? Would it really be better if things were different? There were so many things to consider when thinking about this argument. Instead of the dark haired man dying in front of him, he would doom Toshirou to watching his family die instead. That didn't seem worth it, even if he could, wouldn't that be selfish? To preserve a man's life past its intended end? Wouldn't this technically trap Toshi in some sort of purgatory?

As badly as the Kami wanted to call after his lover it was a terrible idea. When Toshirou calmed down he would seek him out. Whether it was for comfort and reconciliation or for more heated words was up to the dark haired man.

****** 

After he had given his partner an hour to consolidate his thoughts and calm down a bit, he left their bedroom. He had needed time to collect himself too. It had caught him off guard that the younger man had looked so devastated and then pushed him away. Again.

He was in one of the first places Gin looked, drinking in the dining room.

“Ah, care if I join you?”

“If you must…”

“Kissing is a great stress reliever you know…It’s better than drinking alone.” The Kami mused, walking to where Toshirou was sitting at the dining table. Admittedly he was feeling rather lonely due to his partner's perpetual bad mood as of late.

“Watch your mouth!” Toshirou practically snarled in disgust. “I’m here trying to talk to you about my mortality and your propositioning me?”

“I'm glad you understand.” Gin quips.

“...”

“It was a joke…” The silver haired man insists, realizing that he’s just shoved his foot in his mouth.

“If you are so sexually frustrated you have two hands, you ass.” Toshi didn't even bother to look at him, he was clearly still angry.

“I was just trying to lighten the mood…”

“I am in no mood. You can start by explaining why the hell you lied to me!” Toshirou seemed to have had a few at this point, he had been alone for an hour already. His cheeks flushed from the alcohol and his knuckles were white from clenching his fists.

Gintoki lowered himself to the floor beside the dark haired man. 

“I have good reasons Toshi…” Gin’s voice went deep, gruff from trying to be stern.

“You're lying! Seiko-chan said it wouldn’t be a problem. I’ve heard tales of men becoming Gods!”

“For a human to become a Kami they have to die! Your humanity dies and you become something other. What the hell are you thinking?” Gin shakes Toshirou to force him to see reason. His teeth are grit and his eyes are dark.

“...” Toshirou stared, all the light gone from his eyes.

“Why would I want you to know about these things? Your choices are to become a Yokai, which means you’ll never see your family again or you can die. Depending on how strong your will is after you change into a demon, you may want to consume humans!” Gin asserted with his grip still tight on his husband's shoulders.

“You protect people! Most Kami do! I don't need to become a Yokai if you’ll let me become like you.”

“Not every Kami is like me Toshirou.” Gintoki’s muddy red eyes were wide with emphasis. “Promise me that you won't commit to anything that would put you in danger.”

******

Days had passed and things had only gotten worse. Now he was finding chores to do in order to avoid Gintoki completely. Every time they saw each other they bickered.

Toshi stood outside the cave's lip splitting wood. The wind was harsh and the cold was dry and cutting. His clothes were dusted lightly with fluffy flakes of snow. The winter on the mountain was always colder and snowier than it had ever been in the village he grew up in. He had adjusted rather well to living on the mountain but he would never get used to this. Last winter he and Gintoki had been stuck in their cave for two weeks. 

“Toshi-kun!” A voice called from far off into the distance. “Toshi-kun!”

“I’m here on the far side of the shrine.” He shouts back.

A perky figure could be seen bouncing along the path. Toshirou rolled his eyes, who could possibly be so energetic all the time, much less in the snowy months.

She most likely would have hugged him if not for the axe in his hand. Instead she stood close, smiling and rocking back and forth on her heels.

“I came yesterday but I heard yelling and I know when you two fight you guys always end up naked and--”

“Seiko-chan!” Toshirou reprimands. “Why do you just invite yourself into my house?”

“Oh? Sorry. Humans are so sensitive about their space!” She smiled and tilted her head cutely. “You should be happy you have me for a friend!”

“Wow. girls are annoying…” Toshi remarks, bring the axe down on another piece of wood. He smiles with his eyes, he really is glad to have more people to talk to. She was the little sister he never wanted, though she was probably one hundred years older than him.

“Oi! I'm your friend, no need to be so shy. We all know you're married.” She waves him off. “How long are you prepared to act indifferent about Gintoki? Everyone with eyes can see you are head over heels for him.”

It’s true. They go everywhere together and hardly separate for more than a few days at a time. That is until recently. Toshirou adores Gin, he tries his best not to look too impartial in front of others by rarely displaying his affection in public, but nonetheless he adores him.

“Annoying…” Toshirou splits another piece of wood. 

“Toshi~ Didn't you want something from me? I would be nicer if I were you...”

“Fine, I’ll come back to this later.” He stacks what he’s cut in the mouth of the cave, throwing another log into the hearth as he walks by.

Seiko makes herself at home, lying across three cushions laid out on the floor. 

“So? Do you have it?” He tries to hold back his excitement.

He had recently gotten the news that Kondo-san had asked the poor woman he had been tormenting to marry him. After so many years of being worn down she finally said yes. Now he was on a quest for a fitting wedding gift. 

“Eh? Eager aren't you?” She smirks “Since you give Gin-chan so much trouble, you should beg me to consider giving it to you. Ponytail.”

“Don't get too carried away. I guess if I must, I'll admit that you're tolerable…I guess.”

“Such a heartfelt confession of your love for me!” She pressed the back of her hand against her forehead dramatically. “...but alas, you're a married man.”

“Uggghhhh--” Toshurou groans, shaking his head. He can't afford to lose face by acting flustered, he’d never hear the end of it. 

“If you were single I would pursue you. You've always been so terribly cute! Especially when you were little, Gin talks about teenage you constantly! You were much smaller apparently.”

“Little? I was sixteen not eight!” He chuckled. “Kami and Yokai really have no idea how to tell the age of humans do they? Also don't mention what he talks about...I’d rather not know”

“I can tell a youngling from an adult! You were little then for sure.” She giggled. “So short and thin Gin says.”

“Listen, at least i'm not old like you. You and Gin both are probably ancient.” He jabbed.

“Age is irrelevant when you're plush and beautiful forever.” She flips her hair cheekily.

A look of realization flashes over her face a moment after she had finished speaking.

“...” Toshirou stares into the fire in the hearth, a reckless piece of himself wants him to jump in. Her words hit too close to home.

“A-anyway...uh, I have the protection charm you asked for.” She hurried to change the subject, sitting up and dropping the charm into his hands.

Toshirou could feel his pulse in his ear again, anxiety threatened to constrict around his chest. They would always be young. He would die someday and then Gintoki would move on, if not before that. He would age just like any other human but Gintoki would be young and handsome forever. Young and handsome men did not often find old men attractive.

“...When I get old please push me off a cliff.” Toshirou breaks the silence after a long moment.

“Toshi-kun…” His words clearly struck her. Her forehead wrinkled with sympathy.  
Toshirou rolled the smooth charm around in his hand. It was meant to provide protection from the Ōkami to its wearer and he couldn't think of a better wedding gift for someone like Kondo. Kondo-san needed all the protection he could get, his bride to be was a firecracker. She had no shyness about correcting his odd behaviors.

“Seiko-chan, you did well.” He held the charm up to the light to inspect it further. It was carved from charred bone, polished and shaped into a protective pendant.

“I’m glad you appreciate my handwork! Most people have to go down the other side of the mountain to buy one from the shrine there, but since you're Gin-chan’s bride I’ll give it to you for free. I even did an extra chant while making it just for luck.”

“Gin’s bride…yeah right.” He scoffs. He isn't a woman and he’s definitely not demure and passive either. Hardly a bride if you asked him.

“Oh? Really now. Is that why you're so reluctant to recount things?” She questions with a playful smirking look on her face.

“Huh? What are you talking about now?” Toshirou asks while poking at the fire. He thinks he knows where this is going, which means it's time to brace himself.

“Well, if you aren't Gin-chan's bride, then do you put it in?” Seiko asked coyly, batting her long eyelashes innocently.

“Eh? What? What are you even saying?” He tries again to shake her off but she's more than nosy enough to get the answer eventually.

“A bride lies beneath, duh. If you aren't the bride that means Gin-chan takes it from you, right? He won't tell me!” 

“No! Stop, that is not what I was trying to imply.” Toshirou lets the stick drop into the fire, nearly burning his hand from not paying close enough attention.

“So you take it, yeah? How big is he then? Share the relevant information already!” Seiko leans closer to Toshirou, eyes glittering with a bit of mischief.

“...I guess?” He fidgets, wringing his hands. “Your questions are shameless.” Over the years he had become barely better at managing the embarrassment he felt when he was asked personal questions.

“Have you taken him before? At least answer sometimes! Gin just had to go and get himself a shy bride, It’s no fun if you never kiss and tell.” The Ōkami shot up, a bright smile on her face. “Just answer this and I won't ask a question again for a week!”

“As if that's a good enough compromise! I’ll tell you if you leave me alone after this.”

“Okay~”

“I hadn't really even thought about it too much...but no, I never have.” He whispers quietly, he can't help feeling odd in sharing intimate details.

“You mean you've had that thing dangling between your legs for almost twenty years and you've never used it? Does it feel that good to bottom?”

“...wouldn't it be shameful for me to ask Gintoki to do something like that? Taking an older man is considered unacceptable among humans. It would hurt his pride.”

“Kami and Yokai have no such standards. Age is irrelevant to us and sex is a free for all mostly… At least with the Ōkami.”

“Well it's not like I care to change things…” Toshi hurries to find an answer to shut her up.

“Why not? You're a man too right? Don't you want to try thrusting it in at least once? It must feel different, ne?” The young woman giggles.

“...”

“Does it really feel that good to be below him?” Seiko grins, lightly patting Toshi’s shoulder. “If it feels that good to be beneath, don't you want to let Gintoki experience it? Don't you want to make him cry out?”

“I- I uh, I don't even know where to start with something like that. I told you, it works as it is!” Toshirou replies wearily, frustration getting to him. His brain is just barely able to keep up.

“Sorry, Toshi-kun. I forgot you blush when the adults speak.” She sighs, playfully rolling her eyes. “Anyway, He’ll submit to you for sure if you ask. He thinks of you as his equal.”

Toshirou sighs deeply, trying his best to sound disinterested to stifle his shame. “D-Don't you have something to do?” 

END OF CHAPTER ONE

Little Dictionary:  
Ōkami- A wolf Yokai, usually benevolent. They more often choose to help humans but some would rather eat them. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
Tatami- Woven mat that is used to make the floor more comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE CHECK OUT THE ART FOR THIS STORY!  
> https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/87680712


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to make it clear that this chapter nearly killed me. Getting the dialogue just right took forever. You want a summary? Scared. Sexy. Sad. 乁⁞ ි _ʖ ි ⁞ㄏ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW Artwork for this chapter!  
> https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/88385313

“Gintoki! Gin!” The dark haired man woke up screaming, gasping. He bolted upright, pulling the blanket up with him roughly. He shivered violently as soon as the cool air hit his damp skin and clothes. 

The jerking movement and the abrupt scream jolted the snoring Kami awake immediately. Before he can even open his eyes, his hands are up in a position like he’s ready to defend himself. 

“Huh? Oi, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Gin barked while trying to focus in the dark. His eyes were wide from worry.

The younger man could say nothing, he could only find the strength to breath with his heart hammering in his throat from the nightmare he had just escaped. He looked at the silver haired man with fear in his eyes, everything came bubbling up to the surface then. He reached a shaking hand out to his partner, his tough act falling quickly after he had laid eyes on him. All the effort he had spent holding Gintoki at arms length to hide his weakness had backfired the moment he had seen the silver haired man die in his dreams. He needed to touch him, to kiss him because he was grateful that he was there beside him and alive.

Gintoki’s heart clenched. Toshirou’s panicked face was white as a sheet. Without stopping to think he pulled the other man close to him, Toshi’s back flush against his chest. He wrapped the gasping man in his arms, nuzzling into his dark hair.

“Do you feel how I'm breathing? Try to match it. I’m right here.” The Kami assured. He was weary of the sudden mood shift but could deal with that later. Just a few hours ago he was denied Toshirou’s attention and given gruff, short answers anytime he spoke. Now that his lover was falling apart in front of him he couldn't find it in his heart to be irritated about the last few days.

A choked sob broke from the dark haired mans throat. He held onto Gintoki's forearms tightly. He was slotted between his partner's legs now, completely surrounded by the comfort of the older man’s gentle touch. It was like being wrapped in a warm blanket. His shaking ebbed slightly.

For days he had pushed the silver Kami away, angry at him that they couldn't agree on a solution. Toshi was frustrated with the fact that he didn't understand Gintoki’s reasons, and his partner hadn't exactly been forthcoming on the matter. It was easy to take the frustration at the circumstances out on his lover. It wasn't his fault but he was standing in the way of his plans. He felt utterly lost in it all.

Through a tear induced hiccup Toshi managed a pathetic and shaky ‘okay’.

“Shhh- you don't have to talk right now. Catch your breath.” Gin spoke in a deep and soothing voice. He let his shoulders slump and his arms loosen around the shivering man, trying to give him a bit of breathing room.

“Please don’t leave.” Toshirou pleaded. His nails biting into the flesh of Gin’s arms.

The younger man had tensed as soon as he loosened his hold a bit. Toshi gripped his wrists tightly to prevent him from pulling away.

“Where would I go?” Gin questioned, the other man was damp with sweat but he could hardly bother to care. He was just glad to be able to sooth him. It had been a few days since they had been close like this.

“It’s not about where you would go, I’m the one who will-- will end up leaving you all alone.” The younger man whispered. His chest heaved in an attempt to control the gasping.

“It doesn't matter what happens between now and the day you die. You've got to trust me. It’s always going to be you and I.”

“Gin…” Toshi agonizes. His face twists when they make eye contact. Looking at his partner takes him straight back to the terrible nightmare, still fresh in his mind. His subconscious was making it clear that he was terrified of being separated and of withering day by day as Gin was forced to watch. He felt guilty for pushing them closer to a bad outcome by closing himself off but at the same time he felt that it had to be done.

“I just- I can't take you doubting me and pushing me away because you're afraid. You're not the only one who fears the future. I couldn't imagine life without you…” Gin brings his hand up to cup Toshirou’s face, turning his chin so their lips are just inches apart. “No one expects you to carry this burden all on your own.”

******

Toshirou eventually was able to lie back against his husband's broad chest, relaxed and ragdoll like. The panicked dream coupled with tears had taken everything out of him. He didn't feel like sleeping but sitting up was out of the question. He had just calmed down.

“Feeling better?” Gintoki asked in a hushed voice, he wasn’t actually sure if Toshirou was awake.

“M’ fine.” Toshi whispered. He could hear Gin’s heart beat against his face. It was grounding.

“Good…” Gintoki bent down to place soft kisses where his lover’s neck met his shoulder. “For a minute I thought you might pass out.”

“Fuck. I’m sorry. It's hard...to talk to you when I...” The younger man whispered under his breath, just loud enough to reach Gin’s ears. He hated being so pathetic. Weakness was unacceptable for someone like him. He had spent years of his life training for the explicit purpose of forcing weakness from his body.

Gin sighed, letting the stress leave him. At least Toshirou seemed ok now. Lately he could never predict just exactly what the dark haired man was thinking.

The silver haired man began to gently rub Toshi’s sides with his palms, letting his hands dip down over his hip bones before coming back up just below his pecs. “Just share your thoughts with me and you won't have to feel alone, ne? Tell me when something isn’t right.” 

Toshi squirmed under the touch, directing his gaze to his hands gliding over his chest. “Fwah-- stop. It makes the hair on my neck stand up.”

Gintoki’s light touches against his sensitive sides tickled but it also felt good in a weird way. Like an electric shock, it was exhilarating. The way Gin’s fingers trailed over the dips in his hips sent a surge of heat to his lower half.

“Mmmm...I like that noise.” Gin hummed in his partner's ear, licking a stripe up the nape of his neck to his earlobe.“

“Ah! Gin-” The younger man exclaimed as a shiver ran through him. “I’m sweaty so stop.”

“Hush.” Gintoki ordered before leaning down to capture his lips roughly.

Toshirou moaned into Gin’s mouth as the silver haired man pushed his tongue past his lips. He hadn't realized just how much he missed being affectionate until this moment. He coaxed Gin to deepen the kiss by tugging against the collar of his yukata, letting him know he wanted it too.

“Let me take a bath first at least.” Toshi remarked, pulling away to catch his breath after an intense lip lock. “Just wait here until then.”

“You just had your tongue in my mouth, I won't let you run away so easy.” Gin’s voice was low with desire. “You’ll just get dirty again right away…”

He pulled the dark haired man back against him, pressing his lips to his lovers hungrily.

The younger man groaned into the kiss, giving up his attempts to flee, allowing himself to melt against Gintoki. His hand wandered to just above Gin’s knee, moving up the sensitive skin of his inner thigh.

“Aren't you disgusted?” Toshirou inquires, sending an unsure look to the Kami.

“Nothing about you is disgusting.” His voice deepened with lust. He could feel the heat begin to rise in the pit of his stomach. Even sweating and disheveled, the dark haired man was still the single most amazing thing he’d ever seen. 

The slight touch of Toshirou fingers running up and down the inside of his thigh was driving him crazy. Toshi had a nonchalant way of placing teasing touches along his body when they were alone together. It was a game of tempting him into making the first move, not because Toshi was unable to but because seeing him submit to his seduction clearly pleased him to no end.

“It would be much easier to kiss you if you turned around and straddled me…Does your neck not hurt?” 

“Oh? All you had to do was ask.” A cocky grin tugged at the corner of his lips.

Toshirou pulled himself up from the floor, undressing slowly while he stood there with his eyes locked on the man before him. Admittedly he could be a lot quicker about it but where was the fun in that?

Gin stared up at Toshirou with hooded eyes. He let his gaze wander over the younger man’s lean and muscular body. His eyes linger on his peachy nipples, a surge of arousal went straight to his crotch.

“Come, sit in my lap. Face me.” The Kami’s voice was hushed and deep.

Obediently Toshirou plants a foot on either side of Gintoki’s crossed legs, sinking down slowly until he is seated. Toshi can feel Gin’s warm thighs under his legs, their groins nearly flush.

Again they kiss. It’s slow, passionate and loving. They twist their tongues together, moaning into each other's mouths. Toshirou sucks Gin’s lip, nipping it lightly. It’s his own little way of telling his partner to get on with it.

The silver haired man ran his hands over Toshi’s chest and sides. The feeling of his bride's muscles was surprisingly soft under his touch. Gently he swiped his thumb over his lover’s pert nipple, rubbing it sensually. The little bud hardens under his fingers, pinkening from the stimulation.

“Mmmhh…” The dark haired man groaned, breaking the kiss.

“You seem to be enjoying yourself, your dick is already hard.” The God rocked his hips forward gently, allowing their members to rub against each other.

“Shut up.” Toshirou tries to scold but it's more of a compulsory response at this point. “You're hard too.” 

The Kami wrapped one hand around their members, massaging them together. His other hand goes to knead his bride's ass.

“Gimme a hand here.” Gin asks nodding toward their dicks.

Toshjirou wrapped his hand around their members, threading his fingers with Gin’s. Grinding against each other like this felt so erotic. He glanced up through his dark lashes, sending the Kami a lustful look. He feels his mouth water at the little grunts his partner makes.

Gin shudders, his hands still diligently massaging Toshirou’s firm ass. “Fuck-- you’re beautiful.”

The dark haired man raised an eyebrow incredulously. Gin would say things like this to him sometimes but he would never really accept the compliment. His partner however, was so smooth and flawless he looked unreal. Toshirou never understood why Gintoki would be interested in him in the first place but he hardly could bring himself to care at the moment.

Toshirou brought his free hand to his lips, taking his fingers into his mouth and coating them with his tongue. He rolled his tongue around, letting it poke through his fingers to give Gin a flash of pink.

Gin hummed in his throat at the sight. His eyes were trained on Toshirou’s wet mouth.

After he was satisfied with the amount of saliva coating his finger he removed them slowly. Without breaking eye contact he replaced his dry hand with his wet fingers, allowing the saliva to coat their cocks.

“Ahhh--mmnnn.” Toshirou sighed as he got used to the sticky feeling.

“It’s so hot when you do that...I never get tired of watching you moan.” As Gin said this he began to rut his hips into their joined hands. “You… get me so hard.”

“Mnnn… haa-” Toshi can feel himself harden like a rock, his cock twitched from Gintoki’s dirty talk. Dirty talk always made him weak.

“Come on already, I want to put it in.” The silver haired man nearly begged, he was dripping precome. It made grinding together that much nicer. 

“Not today...” Toshi protested, The last thing he wanted to do was attempt sex without a bath first.

“Nnnm… Dammit, fine.” Gin’s hand that lingered on their erections tightened its grip to create more friction between them. 

The dark haired man let his forehead rest against Gintoki’s shoulder then, groaning.

“Too much…Ahhh” Toshi pants.

“What? Feel like cumming?” His partner punctuates the question with a buck of his hips, then settles into a steady rut after a moment.

“Hhhhaaaa- nnn” Toshirou’s body quivered, his toes curling from the effort to contain all the pleasure surging through him.

“Cum.” Gintoki demanded, with a grin in his voice.

As much as the younger man tried to hold back he was no match for the wet friction. With a jerk of his hips he came all over their hands. Gin unfurled his fingers, allowing Toshirou to slip from his grip. Without any hesitation he licked the cum off of his fingers hungrily, his cock pulsing from the arousal of it all.

Toshirou looks at Gin with glossy eyes after taking a moment to lie against him limply. “I told you…It was too much.”

“Ahh well… It was fun anyway.” The silver haired man mused.

“It’s not over yet…” The dark haired man reached out, squeezing Gintoki with his slick hand.

“Mmmm-” Gin moaned, kissing Toshirou again eagerly.

Toshi loved working Gin over. He loved watching him clench his jaw from the pleasure. His eyes would screw shut to help take everything in and his lower lip trembled. The younger man always hung up on every little grunt and groan from the God.

“Toshi… Hnnn.” With a gasp Gin reached his peak, spilling across his own chest and his partners hand.

******

“Could we...maybe try something different next time?”

“Hm? Like what?” Gin inquired lazily, reclining.

After a long and peaceful bath they sat together drying by the hearth. The wind howled outside and Toshi hoped that it wouldn't snow again so soon. If more snow fell it would cover the ground and a solid sheet of ice would form beneath it, making it difficult for them to go too far. 

“...” Toshirou stares off into the distance, his flushed cheeks betraying him. He adjusts his yukata, fidgeting.

“Are you nervous to ask? I haven't seen you blush like that since you were a kid.” The older man smirks.

“Don't say it like that. Forget it.” Toshi snaps back defensively. It was taking all of his will power to force himself to bring it up, he didn't need Gintoki to be embarrassing on top of that.

“Aww Toshi-kun don't be so shy. How odd could it possibly be?” Gin asks, a smirk still on his lips but his tone is kind. 

“...” Toshirou wished that Gin would read the room better. Maybe then he wouldn't get so agitated.

“Come on with it, are you really intending to make me play twenty questions?” Gin teases lightly. 

“I said never mind!” Toshi seriously considered letting the issue die, but then again he didn't think he had the courage to try to bring it up again. 

“Come now, I don't give up that easily.” Gin chides. “I was only teasing you.”

“Shit...Just give me a minute.” Toshirou sighs deeply, choosing his words carefully.

His heart hammered away in his chest. He seriously considered whether it would be worth it to even try. He hadn't even considered asking before his interesting conversation with Seiko. Before he had even started to realize, his mind would sometimes wander when he touched himself. In the last few seconds before he came, Gintoki would flash across his mind with his legs splayed like he was ready to be fucked. Even if he didn't want to admit it, he wanted yo take him.

“I uh, I was wondering…” He starts again, unable to force the words out.

“Yes?” Gin asks, trying his best to wait patiently.

“Have you ever thought about...Well…”

“Have I ever thought of..?” Gin tries his best to coax it out.

In the pit of his stomach Gin feels a sense of unease. He tries to write it off as heartburn to quell his discomfort. It would be better to go into this with a positive outlook he reasoned. 

“--Sex...but, like the other way.” Toshi feels his mouth dry up as soon as the words leave his lips.

“I don't think I follow you? “ The silver haired man shakes his head, he wants to believe he doesn't know what Toshi is talking about. More like around.

“H-have you ever considered trading places?”

“What do you mean? Like riding me? We've done that many times.” Gin chuckled to help soak up the awkwardness he was exuding.

Toshirou gazes at the floor with his eyes wide with anxiety. His face is red and his jaw is taunt. He can’t find the words to respond and with Gin staring at him directly, he felt like his heart might give out.

“No, um....” The dark haired man nearly whispers.

Gintoki wears the confusion on his face plainly. His eyebrows drawn together in thought. Toshirou could see that he was concentrating to try to figure it out. 

“I mean...I want to try being on top….” The last few words ran together as they were pushed out of his throat. 

Gintoki’s eyes widened as he began to comprehend what was being asked of him. Clearly he was flustered. His face reddened while his mouth became a taut line.

Toshirou had expected a negative reaction. He was prepared for this outcome. He hoped this wouldn’t go as poorly as the disaster scenario he had dreamed up in his head but time would tell. 

“Do you realize what you're asking of me?” Gin probed.

“Yes...? I think so.” Toshirou replied hesitantly. 

“Why now suddenly? Are you unsatisfied? Did I hurt you?” The silver haired man interrogates, leaving no time for the younger man to answer the questions.

“No, it’s not like that… When I got the charm from Seiko-chan we--” He starts.

An exasperated sigh rattled from Gintoki’s chest before the dark haired man could finish his sentence. He scrubbed his face with his hands, trying to find a diplomatic way to approach this situation. He could wring Seiko’s neck for bringing such things up to Toshi. She was entirely too bold.

Though she was kind she had some very questionable traits. Gin generally tried his best to avoid her because she tended to get too comfortable and start in on personal topics.

“There was a reason I never introduced you to her… She asks bothersome questions. I guess she now gives bothersome advice too, ne?” Gin tries to pretend he isn't afraid of the answer.

“S-she said it was only fair to try it that way at least once.”

“What kind of mess has she started now?” He mumbles more to himself than to Toshi. “I understand she filled your head with a bunch of nonsense, but you can't honestly expect me to…”

“Well...why not?” The young man questioned in a hushed voice.

“Huh? Why? You should know that.” Gintoki asserted

“Wait, no one has to know…” The younger man offers, timidly. “I would never try to damage your pride.”

“If that is the case then why would you dare to ask?”

“W-well, I've never actually used it before… Like men do… And I want to.” He can hear his voice shaking.

Now that everything he had hoped to say had come out of his mouth he felt like an idiot. He couldn't help but shift around in this place on the floor to get some of the nervous energy out. It wasn't that he didn't feel he had the right to ask, but instead he immediately felt regret because of his lovers' less than enthusiastic reaction.

“Like men do?”

“I-I want to try putting it in…” He needed to his intentions to be clear. 

“Are you trying to humiliate me?” Gin genuinely seemed perturbed. 

“No, of course not! I just mean that… before I met you I never had any partners. I never got to experience putting it in someone. Could we try it together?”

Gin can’t help but feel a little disgusted, scared was maybe the right word? Either way he had no intention of being fucked by a younger man, a mortal no less. That would require him to be much more vulnerable than he was ready to be.

“No, I don't think so… Have you ever heard of a Kami taking it from a younger man, much less a human? It’s unheard of… Some things just aren't done.” His voice came out with an unexpected flatness in it.

“I would treat you well...I would never humiliate you, much less tell anyone. I- I just wanna know … what it feels like.” Toshi inserts, trying his best to make a solid argument.

“By asking you're already looking down on me.” 

“Gintoki, please just listen. I won't force you but I don't understand why it would be impossible to try once. I never got to-- to experiment…. Uh, I'm just saying that if you won’t I'll never get to.”

“It's impossible.” Gin hadn’t really intended to raise his voice but here they were.

Silence fell over them like a heavy wet sheet. Neither man dared to look at the other, sitting wordlessly less than three feet away. Toshirou almost appeared frozen, he hesitated to blink for a long moment and he genuinely worried that he may be having an out of body experience. Gin let out a huge sigh that he didn't know he was stifling. As soon as they were on speaking terms again, kissing and loving each other, they were fighting in the next breath.

Toshirou had always been haughty and fickle like a stray cat but today he seemed almost meek. If he allowed himself he might feel sorry for him but he couldn't reconcile letting him have his way either.


End file.
